Twelve beaten children
Eleven drive-by shootings
Ten frozen homeless
Nine amputations
Eight burn victims
Seven strangled shoppers
Six random knifings
Five suicides
Four beaten wives
Three O.D.’s
Two shattered skulls
And a drunk who drove into a tre
“You’ll fart, pee, puke, and poop in front of ten complete strangers, all of whom are staring intently at your vagina, which, by the way, has an 80 per cent chance of tearing.”
J.D (V.O): Oh, God, his ex-wife. The tension actually hurts. You have to break it; say something, anything!
J.D: BANANA HAMMOCK!
Dr. Cox: I’m betting your ability to thrive under pressure is what drove you to medicine.
J.D.: Who put this up!?
Janitor: I did. I drove around the whole city before my 5 a.m. shift just… looking for that - trying to add a little cheer.
J.D.: I was just trying to -
Janitor: Oh, I know exactly what you’re trying to do. But you will not ruin my Christmas. Not again. Not this year.
J.D.: But I’ve only worked here for three months.
